we're blogging at a bar
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
