I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
zippers are such a cool invention
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
