You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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