Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
