i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
