Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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