I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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