How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
