i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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