Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i think we sleep fucked last night...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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