Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
