ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
