found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
