I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
