forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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