so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
