I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
