he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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