i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize