Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
