My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
