Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
