Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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