So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Randomize
