there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
