and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
