Its about making memories worth repressing
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
