i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize