I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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