Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
