i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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