question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
