Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
