haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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