Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
