I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize