mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we have pet lesbian snakes
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
