Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
