All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
