his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
