this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
