The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
