if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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