Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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