I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize