FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
