hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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