Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
