Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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