WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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