Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
