I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
