Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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