Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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