you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
