did you get engaged???
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
