Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
