I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You took a bar mat shot.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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