im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
