Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
