You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
