Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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