In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
