god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
