Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
