idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Fuck appropriateness.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
