if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
