Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize