nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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