I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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